Sunday, March 01, 2009

Week one - the adventure begins

So many people told me to take it easy the first week at home ... put your feet up... sleep when the baby sleeps... leave the household chores - they can wait... I was looking forward to this time of rest and settling in with our beautiful son.

For us, things were a little different as life at home this week was a bit hectic... Monday we went the pediatrician b/c Liam wasn’t nursing well and he was just totally inconsolable. It was breaking my heart. Well it was the right call to go in as 1. he had lost too much weight overnight (born at 8.6, released from hospital at 7.15 on Sunday afternoon, weighed in at 7.5 at pediatrician) so they had us supplement for 48 hours to get him to thrive which worked like a charm and 2. the pediatrician found a couple of oral lesions in the very back of his mouth which he didn't like as that is where viruses hang out.

Tuesday, the pediatrician called us to say he had done some more research on the lesions and decided we should go to children’s and have them swabbed and tested. So we packed up and went there. Our dr. was the head of pediatric residency program at children’s so he had called ahead and had a great team waiting for us to arrive. They were wonderful.

Wednesday, back to pediatrician for a follow-up weight check and thankfully he had gained back everything he had lost. He is nursing like a champ now.

Thursday we were looking forward to a quiet day at home, but I had called my dr. to ask about my swelling. Literally it looked like someone replaced my feet and ankles with those of an elephant - and my hands were so swollen that the skin was splitting... she said she wasn't concerned with the swelling, but she would be if I had a headache ... which I had been complaining about all day ... so she had me come in for a blood pressure check. Now my BP is normally somewhere around 117/70, but in her office that day it was 150/105 - SCAREY! She took it again after I had laid down for 10 minutes and it hadn't changed much so she sent us back in to BI to have them draw blood and monitor the BP in case it was Preeclampsia. (never a dull moment!!) All tests came back fine at BI and I was released.

Finally, Friday and Saturday we were able to spend some quiet time at home with feet elevated and Jim waiting on us completely so that we could remain comfortable and healthy... the way life should be. Incidentally, since we have not received any phone calls from the hospital, we are to assume that Liam's tests all came back negative also.

Now that things have settled down, life with a baby is the most amazing experience of my life. I had no idea that this level of love could exist. It is the purest example of the love of God that I have experienced on a human level. It is truly an experience that has to be lived to be understood.

Onward to week 2...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

hmmm... a final "Womb with a View" post ...

So here it is. The day set up as the final day for my body to do this labor and delivery thing on its own. Inducement day. It is kinda weird knowing that tonight we will go to the hospital to start the process of eviction ... I mean effacement.

To catch you up:

Monday night we had 3 hours of contractions that got progressively more intense. They never got to the point where I could not talk through them, but I did have to breathe carefully through some of the final ones. We decided toward the end when my breating changed that we should get ready to go to the hospital. I went up to take a shower and Jim came up with his watch to continue tracking the timing. By the time I finished my shower the contractions were beginning to be less intense and eventually subsided. So we just went to bed figuring if they came back again it would wake me up and we could continue the process.

I only woke up the regular number of times to relieve the bladder (it will sure be nice to not have a little one leaning on my bladder anymore!)

Tuesday morning we went into the hospital for a scheduled ultrasound and non stress test. THis would normally have happened in our Dr. office, but it is Feb vacation week and many of the staff are on vacation there, so we had to go in to Boston. THe non stress test runs for 20 minutes during which time they look for the baby to move and for the heart rate to respond by jumping just after the movement. They want to see it happen 2 times in the 20 minutes. Our child decided to be an over achiever in this department and gave them the 2 jumps within the first 5 minutes of being hooked up - but we still had to be hooked up for the 20 minutes. no problem. The nurse who administered this test, Linda, was just helping out on that floor. She is normally on the Labor and Delivery floor and she was SO nice that it was reassuring of who we may encounter when we finally reach that floor.

Next was the ultrasound. The tech was also extremely nice and told us everything she was looking at. She asked as soon as she came in if we knew the sex of the baby. We said no, we are holding out. She laughed and said well then you won't hear it from me! She showed us the heart beating and measured the heartrate and said "perfect", then she showed us the bladder and laughed and told us the baby needed to pee, she measured the amniotic fluid and showed us where the pockets of fluid were and said we were actually doing really well with the fluid level - it is what they are really checking for at this stagfe as some women get low on fluid after their due date has passed but we were looking great. SHe showed us the baby's lungs and the practice breathing movements. And she told us the baby's head is down and in the right position. So at least we know that the baby is ready to go!

We took those reports to our Dr appointment yesterday. We had to see a new nurse practitioner this week as our dr. is on vacation. She was very nice (nothing like nurse cratchet aka dr death of our earlier nurse practitioner visits). She said that what is important now is that the baby is healthy and all of the tests look great... and that ultimately whether my body responds on its own or with help, we are having this baby this week so the end is near. She explained again the process of inducing and also that the possibility exists that my body may not respond tot he meds which could lead to a c-section. That is a really scarey possibility for me (which I am sure is shocking to many of you who remember that in the beginning of this preganancy I was more scared of the vaginal birth process.)

At any rate, Jim and I went to lunch after and talked a little bit about what the next few days may entail for us ... then we both went to work. Since I was feeling pretty anxious about the whole thing, it was a good distraction for me to be in the office and focussing on other things for a while. I have had an aweful cold this week and hadn't been into work since last Thursday, so I haven't had many distractions. Soon after I got there our interior decorator arrived with fabric samples for the furniture that will be ordered for our staff common room. THAT was a great distraction. The room is going to be beautiful and I was glad I got to be there for that process. I thought I would just be there for a few hours writing back to the 9th graders in their journals, but there were a bunch of other things that came up during the day and by 6:00 I hadn't even started on their journals. A really interesting thing happened though once I began reading their journal entries and writing back. It is one of my favorite things that I do because I get to hear where they are in their journey and the I get to reflect back to them on how I have dealt with these same questions in my journey and offer some words of encouragement and prayer for them. It helps me to grow in my faith too.

Well last week, the girls read a prayer that was written from God to them and they were asked to respond to that prayer in their journals. Because many of them commented on different parts of the prayer, I had to continuously re-read the prayer in it's entirety to be able to respond. Here is the prayer:

Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me
alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, my child. But until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things that you want.
Just keep looking at me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready ... until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me ... and this is perfect love.
(Anonymous Prayer)

SO - I really felt like these journals were put off until the last minute so that in my anxiety I would hear over and over agian this particular section and be able to hear God speaking to me:

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things that you want.
Just keep looking at me, or you will miss what I want to give you.


I realized that I have no control over this process and that I have to let go and let God. My plans have only caused me anxiety. So that is my prayer for today as I await labor and delivery is that I can keep my eyes on God and expect great things ... and that I keep listening to the things He tells me ... and patience ... no anxiety ... no worry ...

So pretty amazing that after the most anxious day I have had in my preganancy, God would speak to me through a group of 9th grade girls who I was supposed to be ministering to. God is cool.

Friday, February 13, 2009

wanna see a little bit of the baby's room?

I mean, I figured I would show you all since the baby apparently is not interested in seeing it just yet...

Monday, February 09, 2009

Week 40

Here's the latest...

We are in week 40 which ends now on Friday the 13th (that is our latest due date).

I served an eviction notice on the baby yesterday. (but as my sister pointed out, we all know how long it takes me to actually get an eviction after filing a notice)

I got a massage on Friday - which was divine... so divine that I scheduled another for the 13th just in case.

I realized on Saturday morning that I really don't have any pictures of me pregnant, so my sister came over on Saturday afternoon and took some for me... I'll see if I can upload one later.

I went to Kate's dinner theater fundraiser on Saturday night and laughed my butt off. It was great!

Saturday night when I awoke in the middle of the night (which is just a normal occurrance now) I had 2 stronger contractions and I thought, "Could this be it???"
But when I awoke in the morning things were pretty normal again so I got up and got ready for my very busy day ahead...

Sunday morning we had the 10:30 Mass hosted by our 5th and 6th graders followed by a parish brunch in our hall. The Mass was great - we had split the minister roles between the 2 grades and the kids were fantastic! I stood at the back of the church through the whole Mass doing a standing rocking motion in hopes of getting the baby to move to the groove and get tthings moving. The brunch after Mass was equally fantastic in that so many parishioners came down for great fellowship. Many, many people came to me and said, "Wow! You look great! How do you feel? ... I really didn't think we would see you this weekend." I would say, "I actually feel great, but I am ready for the next phase." and "I really didn't think I would still be here either." So after, I went to the Natick Mall (sorry - the Natick Collection) yesterday and walked 2 laps. Last night I felt like things were progressing. I was looking forward to my dr. appointment because I was SURE she was going to tell me that we were progressing nicely...

This morning was our appointment... we had the monitors on for a while and everything looks good... heartrate is steady and strong ... I had a few contractions ... but NOTHING has changed since last Monday! NOTHING?????? I walked, I ate Chinese, I rocked, I exhausted myself and NOTHING??? So we created our "overdue plan" for next week (though she assured me that just creating the plan usually gets things moving) So if we are still pregnant on Tuesday the 17th, we go to the hospital on that morning for an ultrasound and fetal monitoring (this determines sufficient amniotic fluid and non stress). Wednesday morning we go see the nurse practitioner (not the one we saw before) for an exam and to look at the results from Tuesday tests. Thursday evening we go in to be induced. If we make it that far, this process is long and exhausting and if we are lucky the baby will be born by Friday evening, but definitely by Saturday morning.

So, my friends, your job this week is to pray that we go into labor without having to be induced! Now get to praying!!!!

and thanks for your support...

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Week 39

At dr appointment this week ... she told us to prepare to be late - typical Flanagan style! Also, we had an ultrasound and the baby's weight is estimated at 7 lbs 9 ounces right now... which is right about where i was when I was born (come on baby, you and mommy can be the same!!) No new pictures as the little one was facing my right hip which is the wall where the placenta is and therefore we couln't get a face shot...

Okay, so I know that 40 weeks is the right amount of time ... and that I am only at 39 weeks, which makes me still a week early, however, at this stage of pregnancy one wonders if a week really makes a difference...

I know that Una says that Andrews acid reflux was attributed to his 2 week early delivery ... and that the little peanut could have stood to cook a little longer and build up some body fat ... and I do believe her that bigger babies are healthier...

But this offers little comfort to me each night as a sleep for 20 minutes ... wake up for 10 ... sleep for 20 ... wake up for 10. There is comfort is those moments during the night when I lie awake feeling the baby moving all around and knowing that each day the movements are stronger and healthier and that one of these nights these gentle movements will turn to unbearable contractions which will lead to this little one joining us on the outside. But when morning comes and that hasn't happened yet, well, it is disappointing.

On the plus side, in the past few days I have been able to:
- make a lasagna and meatballs to put in to serving size containers in the freezer for after the baby is here and I don't feel like cooking

- set up in the youth room ALL the supplies and resources needed by the middle school teachers for the rest of the year!

- Sort through all the old sheet sets we have accumulated and discard all of the mismatched / ripped / wornout sheets and organize the others into sets in the linen closet

- do ALL of the laundry in the house

- replaced the garbage disposal ... well, had my sister come and install a new one ... as lately when I run the water for too long in the kitchen, I have been noticing that my socks get wet. So yesterday morning I opened the cabinet to see if there was water under there and yes, there was a bit of a flood. So I pulled all the cleaning supplies out and soaked up the water and yucky mess that was under there and then poured more water down the drain to see where it was coming from... the garbage disposal was rotted in spots and acted like a sprinkler system as it spewed all over the cabinet space ... and since the cabinet doors were open, all over me too (YUCK!!) I am just glad that I didn't run the garbage disposal itself or I would have had orange and kiwi skins all over too!! Anyway, I called Jim and had him pick up a new disposal and my sister came last night and installed it for us. (my mom came too, but she and I watched TV while my sister worked)

- Also - my mom brought over my christening gown, bonnet, blanket and pillow which have been preserved like most people do with their wedding dresses. Jim says if this is a boy we are not using the bonnet...

This past Sunday I was talking with a family at my parish (my favorite family!) and the mom was talking about what she did to pass the time while she waited for her first to be born. She said that for the last 2 weeks she made plans for something fun to do each day. That way if the baby didnt come that day, she still had something fun to do, and the worst that could happen is that she would have to cancel plans. SO here is my plan...

Today, I am making the plans for the next 2 weeks...
Tomorrow, we are cooking and setting up for Mardi Gras
Friday, 1:45 Massage and evening Mardi Gras fundraiser for Mississippi
Saturday, anyone want to do lunch? or dinner? (Jim is running a retreat 12 - 9)
Sunday, 6th grade Mass and brunch ... TOB for Teens begins in the evening
Monday, Dr appointment in the morning ... anyone for lunch or dinner?
Tuesday - my birthday ... 10am haircut and what I would LIKE to do is go to dinner with Jim at Rick's Cafe since they have trivia night on Tuesday nights and it is a fun time... however there is a joint PPC meeting that night ... i will work on getting out of that...
Wednesday - hoping for another massage, we will see how the first one goes...
Thursday - DRE meeting in the morning in Acton, maybe lunch with Diahne and others after?
Friday & Saturday ... before we got married we used to do a valentines dinner with a couple of couples ... sometimes gabe & una, sometimes scott and margo ... right before Keira was born we had both couples over at Jim's old apartment... perhaps we should plan one of those dinners again...

That takes us right up to the due date ... I will look at the following week if we make it past V-day...

Okay - so who wants to get together when? and remember plans are subject to change at the whim of this baby...

Monday, January 26, 2009

and another dr appointment..

I know - already? But our visits shifted from Thursdays to Mondays for the remainder of the pregnancy. So we figured there could not be much change in 4 days...

Apparently our little bundle of joy has decided to be a chicken and has retreated to the solitude of the womb. In other words where the head had dropped one stage as of 4 days ago... today it retreated.

Other than that, no change. We did schedule another ultrasound for next monday to check size again. She said she is having some trouble getting a handle on the size based on manual palpations but that it is nothing to worry about.

What is left to do before the big day?
* I need to pack a bag (though everything is washed, dried and folded for me and for baby)
* Jim needs to pack a bag including snacks so that he doesn't pass out in the delivery room (somehow, I don't think snacks are going to help him...)
* We need to install the carseat ( we HAVE the carseat thanks to my sister, it just needs to be installed and then inspected by a friendly policeman ... we figure why do it in 2 steps? Let's just have Gabe, our friendly neighborhood police officer, install AND inspect it at the same time. we just have to ask him...)
* We need to find a pediatrician...
* We need sheets for the bassinet and a particular accessory for said carseat called a "bundle me lite" that will keep the baby warm in the carseat. I am planning on stopping on my way home to pick those 2 things up.

Can anybody else think of anything I am missing?